Bloggers Wanted! The College Kidd is always looking for new writers. Interested?

Friday, October 2, 2009


I hate Pink. Wait, strike that, I love the color pink, the band The Big Pink, I can even tolerate
P!nk (only in small club related doses, mind you). I hate the Victoria's Secret off shoot Pink.

First, Victoria's Secret is supposed to be a lingerie story. To me that means sexy, frilly items that only a couple of people see, and that lift, separate, and generally make you feel uber slinky. Now correct me if I am wrong but sweatpants fulfill none of these qualities. Never in a million years are sweatpants (no matter how much you roll them down) sexy. So why is Victoria's Secret selling them? Because stupid sorority girls cannot get enough of them.

Which brings me to my second point of loathing, stupid girls wearing copious amounts of Pink products. As a fellow college student I realize that some classes start early, like 8 am early. However, wearing a full Pink sweat suit is not a substitute for clothes. This phenomenon is particularly irritating when considering that it clearly took some amount of planning to find five items of clothes that are all matching and the same brand. So in actuality it would have been much easier to look sane and wear jeans and a t shirt. Hell it would have been even easier to put on a dress, it is only one item.

Now I am not sure how many people reading (someone is reading right?) are college students, or have been in malls lately, but a very certain type of girl is wearing these products. First you can spot her by smell as she will be wearing an overly flowery perfume, probably also from Victoria's Secret. If you miss that you will notice her hair, as it is sitting at least 3 inches above the crown of her head. Possibly with the assistance of a bump it, cause everyone knows teased, poufy, confusing volume is really sexy. I mean it totally worked for Amy Winehouse, she is pretty hot...... Now maybe a picture is forming in your mind. Finally, you will notice the dark rings around her eyes and wondering which nocturnal, trash digging mammal decided to become a make up artist, that is actually just eyeliner. Overall, this girl is super made up. Her hair and make up clearly have taken a lot of time to do. So why is she in sweatpants? Because this sweat suit took just as long to put on as a normal outfit!

Here is what I imagine is the thought process behind making yourself a walking billboard. Victoria's Secret is sexy. Pink is from Victoria's Secret. So people will see this outfit and think, "she shops at Victoria's Secret! She must be sexy; she is probably wearing sexy underwear." (Yes you know you also think about other people's underwear). Or, they are thinking other girls know this is expensive, this will make them jealous or think I am cool.
This line of thought is so wrong. Sweats never equal sexy, as I have already said. People are just confused when a girl is dressed head to toe in cheesy color combinations. Other girls (not the type described) think that the whole outfit is hilarious.

1 comment:

  1. Love love love it! The article, that is, not Pink®. And dude, you should see the girls here... The hipsters are another group that make me want to shoot a kitten.