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Monday, September 14, 2009

Your bike may save the earth, but I still hate you

I’m sure this is a problem at a lot of colleges, especially in Colorado. Coloradoans love bicycles. College students love them even more. Add in the fact that my college is launching a huge "go green" campaign, and we’ve got ourselves a full blown cyclist over-population. 

Yeah, I get it—they provide a form of exercise, save money on gas and save the precious earth. Those reasons are all well and good, but bike riders provide me with a very annoying, sometimes dangerous, trip to class.

When bikers ride on the street, they seem to ignore practically every traffic law. Apparently, if you are on two wheels, the big red stop signs on street corners are optional. Once your butt touches that banana seat, that sign that once read “STOP,” now says “STOP… if it’s convenient. Ride onward you crazy biker, ride onward!”

Then they get to campus and decide to make the sidewalk their territory. Yes, there are signs everywhere that say “Yield to pedestrians,” but once again, these signs must be displaying a different message to bike riders. I assume they see something along the lines of “Please wiz through the crowd of pedestrians at your leisure—ten points if you clip one with your handlebars.”

Of course, bike riders do provide a source of entertainment from time to time. Eventually, you will see some poor sucker eat it on their beloved bicycle. If you’re really lucky, you might just see them collide with another bike, or even better, a long boarder (don’t even get me started on long boarders).

One time, I saw a guy skid on his bike and hit a retaining wall. It remains one of my fondest memories of college. For the record, I watched to make sure he was OK before I burst out in laughter, so I still consider myself a good person.

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