SHIT MY ROOMATES SAY

Background: After suspecting I had Swine Flu

"Who have you been kissing on? You can't get this shit from pigs you know?"

SHIT MY ROOMATES SAY

Background: The morning after her 21st birthday when she woke up...

"If I lay on this side, I'm sober. But if I lay on this side, I'm still drunk."

Dialogue with a Non-Trad

and on this installment of The Diaries of a Traditional College Kidd, who hates Old College Kidds, the actual words that took place between me and and old lady who came into the bookstore to purchase a USB Jump Drive. She had on a backpack...old ladies shouldnt have backpacks.

Regular College Kidd(Me): Hi ma'm can I help you with anything?
Old Lady College Kidd: Yes Im looking for a USB Port Jump Drive (confused face)
Regular College Kidd(Me): (annoyed face) Okay they are right here by the batteries, these our only two brands
Old Lady College Kidd: (In competele technological niaveness) Do all these jump drives fit all computers?
Regular College Kidd(Me): Yes ma'm they all go in the usb port
Old Lady College Kidd: O where is that
Regular College Kidd(Me): Well if you have a newer computer or a Dell it may go in the side of the monitor, if you have a laptop it will go in below the keyboard, and if you have an older computer it will go in the tower
Old Lady College Kidd: O, I have an older computer
Regular College Kidd(Me): Okay then it will most likely go in the tower
Old Lady College Kidd: What's the tower?
Regular College Kidd(Me): (ready to commit homicide with a jump drive) the computer part, its tall and fat, not the screen
Old Lady College Kidd: O okay, is it where my internet connects in the back?
Regular College Kidd(Me): No mam, that is the ethernet cord, it looks like a phone jack, see this (pointing to the obvious) is more rectangular, and there most likely isnt anything in the place where you put it yet, maybe a mouse, but I doubt it.
Old Lady College Kidd: O i see
Regular College Kidd(Me): Ya (fake smile)(praying that she doesnt want me to explain how to open the folder once she plugs jump drive into the computer)
Old Lady College Kidd: Actually I don't want it. Ill just print my paper at home, thank you though....

This is the exact reason why Non-trads should have their own colleges with a quill and scroll, and stay away from us TRADITIONAL kiddes with an actual future.

Non-Traditional College Students are the Devil

My number one problem with college is those who impose where they are not needed.
One of the main reasons I went away to College is so I wouldn't have to listen to a 40 something-year-old voice their opinion. I wish that Non-Trads would just sit in the back of the classroom, half asleep, in a text conversation, in sweats, with starbucks, counting down the minutes, like the rest of us.

But nnnoooo, they have to sit in the front row, right under the professors nose, and act like they know EVERYTHING.
Seriously lady?! I know your old, but I also know you weren't born in the 1800's. Therefore when the teacher is talking about Thomas Jefferson and his role as our president DO NOT nod your head and then proceed to tell the professor what TJ did!You weren't there! And you are not a historian, because if you were you would not be in my general education History 101 class.
Also, I'm not sure if this is just the idiot Non-Trads at my school or if this happens elsewhere but someone needs to tell these people that they don't have to ask the professor to use the bathroom. This isn't kindergarten and you can pee when you want, just get up and leave, your the one paying for this class!
I predict that this is the first of many post on Non-traditional students and their ability to make me want to jump off a cliff on daily basis.